A mama monkey and her baby transverse our front yard
Day one, Saturday, May 22nd 2016
Traveling is hell. I had a friend who used to tell me that travel was miserable at best. You need to prepare for the worst: delayed flights, uncomfortable beds, long waits in dingy airports. Then, if things go well, it's just a bonus.
I bought tickets on Spirit Airlines because they were cheap. I mean really cheap. Dawn and I saved a thousand dollars over the next least expensive tickets I could find.
I soon found out why,
Our friend Dana was kind enough to pick me up at 5:30 in the morning and take me to the airport (Remember, Dawn had already flow to Seattle for her cousin’s memorial). I had been hearing about the long lines at security and people missing their flights. At 5:30 it took me ten minutes to clear security. Score!
When it was time to board the plane, I had my first disappointment. We entered the plane and to my dismay it was an Airbus A380. An AIRBUS! People from Seattle don’t fly on Airbuses. We’re loyal to Boeing.
When I made the reservations, I could have sworn that it said we’d be flying on a Boeing 737-9. I guess I looked at so many airlines I got mixed up.
Oh well, I was on the plane and it was too late to change,
First let me say that I had a window seat. I planned to trade with the person who had the aisle seat. Unfortunately, all three people in my row were big guys and the one on the aisle didn’t want to switch.
So I crowded into the window seat. Unlike a Boeing, the fuselage of the A-380 curved in sharply on the window seat and I felt like I was in a sardine can.
Then there were the seats. They reminded me of something you’d find in a homemade dune buggy. They didn’t adjust and they didn’t have a layer of foam, just fabric over fiberglass.
Spirit bills themselves as America’s first ultra low cost airline. You pay a cheap rate for the seat, then they charge for everything else. No free drinks or munchies, no carry-ons, no checked baggage. If you want to fly in the clothes you’re wearing, it’s the airline for you. Otherwise, it all cost extra.
On Dawn’s flight, when the flight attendant was doing the safety talk, he said, “In the event we lose cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead. Swipe your credit cards here to start the oxygen flowing. If your card is rejected, that’s just too bad.”
The first leg of the flight was from San Diego to Huston. We had an hour between flights. I thought I’d grab a bite before boarding. There was a Wendy’s and a BBQ joint at our gate. The Wendy’s had a long line, but the BBQ joint was no wait.
I learned why the Wendy’s was so busy.
I thought, we’re in Texas, I’ve got to order BBQ. I ordered a beef brisket sandwich for eleven dollars. The meat was so tough that I thought they must have driven the cow to market and beat it to death with a stick. The BBQ sauce was practically non-existent. I only ate about three bites.
When I got back on the plane, about half the people had Wendy's bags. Lesson learned.
On to Fort Lauderdale and a six hour stop over.
The same plane took us on the second leg and was equally uncomfortable. In Fort Lauderdale airport, I went in search of a bar. I’m not a big drinker and I don’t usually frequent bars, but it had been a rough day of travel and I wouldn’t arrive in Panama until 1 am.
I searched high and low through the airport and finally found a Cuban restaurant with a little bar. I took an empty seat and a guy sat next to me who wanted to watch the Preakness Stakes. He was a big horse race fan. I know nothing about horse racing. He spent the next hour educating me.
A nice couple from Atlanta took the two seats to my right. The four of us got into a general discussion about racing. The young man asked me “Are you a college professor or author or something. You know so much about everything.”
I can’t pass up an opening like that. I told him I was an author and we were off on an hour’s discussion of writing and my books. I gave them all a card and they promised to read my books. When the couple left, the man shook my hand and said “I can’t wait to tell my friends I met a famous author at an airport bar.”
Jim, if you ever read this, thank you. That made my day.
Being that the bar was in a Cuban restaurant, I ordered a Cuban dish. I can’t remember the name, but it was a skirt steak in a vinegary marinade with rice and beans and fried plantains. It was really good. That’s my second time eating Cuban food and I was impressed.
Two Margaritas is my limit. I walked (or should I say, staggered) out of the bar to find my gate. I still had a couple of hours, so I read.
Here’s an unabashed advertisement for Kindle: I love it. I have dozens of books on the device so when I finish one book, I can just switch over to another. I finished the book I had been reading and immediately went on to the next.
11 pm finally came and we boarded another Airbus. Three hours of discomfiture and we were landing in Panama City.
Clearing customs was nothing. I was checked in by a very nice lady. I spoke to her in Spanish and she treated me like an honored guest. They ran my bags through an X-ray machine, but the woman who was running the machine didn’t even look at the monitor, she was too busy talking to a handsome young man in a security guard’s uniform.
It was 2 o’clock in the morning by the time I made it to my hotel. They checked me in and I collapsed into bed. But I was here, I was in Panama.
A sloth in the front yard
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