Pendelton C. Wallace  Author, Adventurer
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Penn and Dawn's Panamanian Adventure - Part 9

9/16/2016

1 Comment

 
PicturePenn at Juanie's
Day Twelve, Wednesday June 3rd 2016

The morning dawned just like any other morning. Another lousy day in paradise.

Heidi has been here long enough to fall into a morning routine. She gets up early, makes coffee and reads. Then she gathers up the dogs and walks down to the lagoon where she takes a swim. She makes it back to the house for another cup of coffee, stretches out and reads until we get up.

I don’t know what has happened to me. I used to be an early riser, a morning person. The further I get from working, the later I get up every morning. It may have something to do with the fact that I’m up later at night than I used to be. When I was working, I went to bed at ten pm, no matter what. Now I stay up to eleven or twelve every night, wild child that I am.

Anyway, when we get up, the day begins.

Today, Heidi and I made a trip down to Juanie’s to use the Internet. Juanie’s is a beach restaurant about five miles down the road on Drago Beach. It’s the only place near us where we can get a Wi-Fi connection.

This is your prototypical beach shack restaurant/bar. I keep expecting to find Jimmy Buffet plucking out a tune in the back. The restaurant is what you would call open air. Wooden posts hold up a corrugated iron roof. The tables and chairs are in the sand. On one occasion, my chair’s legs sunk so deeply into the sand while I was sitting there that my chair collapsed and I found myself lying in the sand.

The kitchen is behind a waist-high concrete wall. There is a real floor in that section of the building. Large wooden shutters hinge up to let the air in, at night they close them down. A bathroom is also in the building.

Juanie, a native Panamanian Indian woman, is a gracious hostess. Her husband, Willie, is a tall, thin black man who does water taxi and fishing trips from their beach. He speaks pretty
good English, but Juanie doesn’t speak a word.

Picture
The road to Juanie's
I should take a moment to speak about the racial groups in Panama. Of course, there are the natives. They were here before Columbus. They are short, brown people. Almost to a person, we’ve found them to be friendly. Cesar, our gardener, is an Indian. Spanish is his second language, he, like all of the natives here, speaks his native language first. He also manages to speak a little English. I have no problem communicating with him.

Then there are the Afro-Caribbeans. They are the descendants of slaves who were brought here from Cuba, Jamaica and Puerto Rico.

Of course, there are the Europeans and North Americans. The Spanish colonized the area early in the Sixteenth Century. These are the progenies of those Spaniards, but there are also French (they made the first attempt to build a Panama Canal in the late part of the Nineteenth Century) as well as other assorted Caucasians. The North Americans are mainly from the U.S. and Canada and are late comers, but there is a large North American presence in the country.

Then there are the mestizos. These are the offspring of various mixes of the aforementioned groups.

So far, we have seen no signs of racial tension or prejudice. There are natives and blacks in important positions in the government and owning businesses. Everyone just seems to get along. I wish we could import this into the U.S.

Now back to Juanie’s café. When last we saw our heroes, Heidi and Penn went to the café to use the Internet.

We sat down and whipped out our electronic gear. The server came over, we ordered Margaritas, and went to work.

To my chagrin, the Wi-Fi was painfully slow. It took several minutes to load a web page. I turned on my email and the entire time we were there, it was busy downloading email messages.

Heidi managed to get a hold of her husband for a long conversation.

After my first Margarita, I changed to Arnold Palmers, I was driving home. Miss Heidi could drink me under the table any day of the week. As you know I’m a cheap drunk. Two drinks and I can’t get the car keys in the ignition. After four Margaritas, Heidi was still stone cold sober.

When we got back to the house, Dawn was busy baking me a birthday cake. It was her first attempt at baking in her mother’s house and things didn’t go smoothly. Of course, she couldn’t find the ingredients she needed. The oven was a challenge for her. She is afraid of gas and couldn’t get it lighted. I lit it for here when we got home.

After the cake was in the oven, Dawn and Heidi declared war on bugs. They started with the loft, but soon the battlefield had moved downstairs to the main room.

Dawn was SEAL Team 6 of bug warfare. With her bottle of bug spray in hand, she mercilessly hunted down the little buggers. Heidi, being afraid of the bugs, stayed downstairs and shouted up encouragement.

When the loft was so full of gas that no bug could possibly survive, Dawn came down stairs and she and Heidi attacked the kitchen. They pulled out drawers, emptied them and scrubbed them down, then cleaned out the cabinets.

The roaches ran up a white flag and made a strategic retreat, however, Heidi and Dawn had already decided that no quarter would be given. They slaughtered them ruthlessly.

When the massacre was over, Dawn put a layer of boric acid down in the cabinets to keep the roaches out. She is a veteran of the bug wars in Mexico. Living on the boat in Mexico is a constant battle against the cucarachas.

I believe that Heidi slept better after that. I was tired from just watching.


Picture
Miss Heidi in town
 
Day Thirteen to Seventeen, Thursday June 4th to June 8th 2016

Our days settled into routine for the next five days. Heidi got up early, went for her walk and swim. We got up, had coffee, Dawn took the dogs for another walk, we went swimming. Dawn puttered around cleaning here and there, organizing things so that she could work with them. Heidi and I read hundreds of pages.

Occasionally, we went into town. This was mostly for shopping purposes, but one evening we were there late and decided to have dinner before we returned.

I’ve been hearing about this restaurant called El Refugio (The Refuge) from several people. They all say it is the best place in town, so we decided to go there.

We got there during their posted hours, but they were closed. Oh well, we’ll go there on another night. (We’ve been in Panama a month and a half now, and have tried several times to go to El Refugio, but every time they were closed. How do they make a living?)

We cruised around town looking for a second choice. Heidi and Dawn wanted to eat at the restaurant at Hotel Bajia. I wasn’t enthused, but went along since they wanted to. The restaurant served Indian and Thai food, neither my favorites.

We sat down, ordered drinks, then dinner. About the time the food came, it started raining. I’m talking serious rain here, folks. We were sitting on the covered deck over the water, but had to move back because the wind was blowing rain onto our table.

I have only seen rain like this once in my life. We got caught in a tropical storm when we were in Costa Rica. Well, Costa Rica is only a couple of miles up the road and this was definitely a tropical storm.


Picture
Penn and Heidi at the Pub
The water poured down in buckets, no make that tank cars. We had to move again, leave the deck and go into the restaurant. Dawn wanted to run up to the store for something, so she left Heidi and I eating our meals.

Then the roof started leaking. A gutter on the roof of the adjoining building broke under the force of the torrent and poured the water into our restaurant. The floor flooded. The roof over the bar leaked and the bartenders rushed about moving anything that wasn’t nailed down.

Heidi discovered that the hotel lobby next door was dry, so we moved over there and waited for the rain to stop. Not in this lifetime.

The rain continued to pour down. By this time, it was dark. The streets began to flood. Water rose higher and higher, threatening our little dry spot.


It had been an hour and Dawn hadn’t returned yet. I was getting nervous and decided to go looking for her. I stepped onto the curb and was instantly soaked. I waded across the street in roaring water that was up to my calves. I made it across the current without falling. On the opposite curb, I was still standing in water, but it was only ankle deep. I worked my way up the block towards the store where Dawn went.


Shortly before I got to the store I found Dawn. She was encouraging a group of women and children who had gotten caught in the deluge, soaked to the skin.

“We need to move the truck,” she yelled.

I looked at the truck and immediately saw what she was talking about. The water was up to the axles. In a few minutes, the floorboards would be under water.

She left her little flock and climbed into the truck with me. We drove off through the river and found high ground on which to park. It was about a five block walk back to the hotel to reunite with Heidi.

When we got back to the hotel, everyone was watching a group of boys playing in the water. One of them had a surf board and another was towing him with his bicycle. The first boy was surfing the streets of Bocas Town.


We considered getting a hotel room and not risking the road back out to our house, but Dawn was adamant that we go. We left the dogs locked in the house and the thunder and lightning must be driving them crazy.


We voted and Dawn won by a 1 to 2 vote. We headed back to the house.


We had surprisingly little problem on the road, no trees down, no washouts. The house was more or less dry and the dogs were happy to see us.


We later learned that the street we were on used to be a dry river bed that channeled the water off the high ground to the sea. In their infinite wisdom, the city fathers decided to fill in the river bed and pave it over for a main street. Now, when it rains, the rain still takes its historic route to the sea, only now it is flowing down the busiest street in town.



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September 16th, 2016

9/16/2016

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Penn and Dawn's Panamanian Adventure - Part 8

9/6/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
My office. Hemmingway, eat your heart out.

Day Ten, Monday June 1st 2016

Today is my birthday. I’m not going to say anything more about that for now, but keep it in mind for later. We cool with that?

This morning we had to drop Wes and Joyce off at airport. They flew on Panama Air from Bocas to Panama City. They’ll stay the night in Panama City, then fly on to Orlando in the morning.
We left them at the airport around 11 am and headed back into town. (By back into town, I mean the three blocks or so to the shopping district. The airport in Boca is more convenient to “downtown” than even in San Diego.)

We hadn’t had breakfast and the day was marching on, so we decided to grab a bite and find an Internet connection before we did our shopping. Wes and Joyce took me to The Pub on the day I arrived and it had good Wi-Fi, so I went searching for The Pub.

I think I mentioned earlier that Wes gave me a tour, but I was so totally confused by streets without names and directions, that I couldn’t have found anything. Well, today was the proof.
It probably should have taken us five minutes to get from the airport to The Pub, it took more like half an hour. By the time I finally found the joint, Dawn and Heidi were so frustrated that they would have stopped anywhere. Fortunately, I’m one stubborn Papa.

The restaurant is in an old white two story house. The sign is designed to be spotted by those spy satellites that can read a newspaper in Moscow from a hundred miles up. A normal human being could not possibly find the two by four foot sign buried in all the other signs and behind bushes while driving by at twenty kilometers per hour. (That’s about twelve miles per hour folks.)

Anyway, at some point Dawn asked what the name of the place was. “The Pub,” I said.

“Oh, I thought you were just taking us to a pub.”

“Wait,” Heidi screamed, “we passed that a few minutes ago.”

I turned around and soon found our lunch spot.

We had lunch and worked the Internet for a couple of hours. It was soooo frustrating. The bandwidth was so narrow that it took from two to five minutes to open a web page. It was not this slow before, but I guess no one else was using the Internet that day.

After a couple of hours at The Pub, we took off on a shopping spree. I didn’t want to mess up Joyce’s food plans while they were there, but now it was our kitchen. I wanted to stock it with what we wanted to eat.


Picture
Looking back into the house from the deck
 hit several stores and couldn’t find any edible vegetables. The veggies here look like they were removed from the shelves in a Mexican supermarket when they were too rotten for the Mexicans to buy. I’m serious. Just stepping inside a supermarket, you smell the scent of rotting vegetation. The cauliflower is black, the green beans brown.

We’ve been able to buy passable broccoli at the Super Gourmet, but that’s about it for fresh vegetables. Maybe I exaggerate. The potatoes, onions and garlic are pretty good too.

We could go to Super Gourmet and buy American brands, but you pay a premium for them. I
wanted to live like the natives, so we bought off-brand stuff in the local market.

The meat here is totally unappealing. The chicken in the butcher case looks diseased. The beef and pork looks like it was shipped from 1990. The one exception is the Super Market Isla Colon.

This store, like ALL the rest of the grocery stores on the island, is run by Chinese. Their meat counter has pretty good ground beef, if you buy the #1 hamburger. We buy the  #2 for the dogs. They even have some half decent chicken.

Joyce has the freezer stocked with beef filets she orders from PriceSavers in David. They say
it’s the only edible steak available on the island. (For those of you who are just joining us, David is pronounced Dah-Veed.  It is the nearest big city to Bocas, on the Pacific side of the isthmus. It is a forty-five minute ferry trip and a four hour cab ride from Bocas. You can fly there for about $100, an hour flight.)

It was hot and by the time we were through traipsing around all the grocery stores, we were beat. We climbed in the truck and picked our way home on the pothole highway.

This was our first night on our own. I knew that we’d be too tired and cranky to cook dinner, so I bought a roasted chicken at Super Gourmet. We sat down and looked at our food, too tired to eat.

A trip into town takes an entire day and you return too tired to care about anything.

The good news was that we moved from our broom closet of a room to the master suite.
Wes and Joyce’s bedroom is bigger than some houses. It has a bathroom, shower and sink attached. The entire building (remember, this is in a separate building) has a terracotta tiled deck around it. There is a walkway from the bathroom to the bedroom that has slatted teak walls to allow the breeze to flow through.

They have a custom made, teak king-sized bed. Why do they use so much teak here? It’s terribly expensive wood. Not here. The rainforest is filled with teak. There is a teak plantation on the road into town with thousands, if not tens of thousands, of teak trees. It is the most economical, and best, material to use.

Their bed is a giant four-poster. There are teak four by fours at each corner with two by four railing at the top. It is designed to hang mosquito netting from it. Wes and Joyce don’t have mosquito netting, but it still looks like something out of One Thousand and One Arabian Nights.
The cabinetry reminds us of the Victory. It is all teak and looks like the kind of cabinets you find in an expensive yacht.  

I moved our bags into Wes and Joyce’s room but was too tired to even unpack. We flopped into bed and called it a day.


Picture
On the Road to Bocas
Day Eleven, Tuesday June 2nd 2016

Remember how I mentioned that yesterday was my birthday? Dawn remembered it today. I totally spaced out.

Usually, in the Wallace family, birthdays are a big deal. We call it the birthday season, because it normally lasts a week or so, but Katie (my oldest) has managed to stretch it out for more than a month on occasion. Of course, there’s the birthday dinner, with cake and presents on your birthday. But if it falls on a week day, we usually schedule a party for either the weekend before or after.

I hate stuff. I spent years trying to get stuff out of our house. Friend Susie kept giving the girls stuff that she no longer needed. We finally made a rule, for everything she gave the girls, she had to take something back.

Why do I tell you this? Because we discourage people giving us stuff for our birthdays. Instead, we ask that they give us memories. We ask for gift certificates for a nice restaurant, tickets to a ball game or the theater. Much better than having stuff hanging around the house.

Sometimes it can take weeks or even months (like ticket for a concert for play) to use them. That’s all part of the birthday season.

So you get the idea. Birthdays are a big deal.

So how in the hell could I forget my own birthday?

Dawn decided to make it a special day. We stayed around the house, I did a lot of reading, we went swimming in the ocean and took a couple of walks on the beach.

Dawn made us a nice dinner with one of the filets Joyce left in the freeze and a nice bottle of wine. No cakes, no birthday songs, no presents. I’m expecting a big celebration next year.
Since there wasn’t a lot going on, I’ll tell you a little bit more about the wild life.


Picture
Peanut takes on a snake
Since there wasn’t a lot going on, I’ll tell you a little bit more about the wild life.

It’s time to talk about the crabs. We have thousands of crabs around us. There are small white crabs that dig holes just above the tide mark on the beach. They are opaque when they’re small and turn a sandy color as they get older.

I mention these only because they are Little Bit’s favorite sport. (I’ll get around to telling you about Joyce’s dogs later. She has two, Little Bit and Peanut.) Bit loves to dig them out of the sand. They live in holes about two feet deep.

He sniffs a crab and starts digging. He’ll get down to where only his hind end protrudes from the hole, clouds of sand being thrown out between his legs.

Every so often, he stops and sniffs the sand, then he may change this course and dig in another direction as the crab moves underground.

Occasionally, he may actually dig one out. He flips it in the air. The crab hits the beach and takes off for the safety of the water. These little buggers are fast. It’s a hoot to watch them, small brown dog in pursuit, take off along the beach.

We also have land crabs. These guys live in holes they’ve dug in our yard. They’re all over the place. Some of the holes are an inch or two in diameter; some are large enough to trip in.

They come out mainly at night. A mature crab is about the size and color of our rock crabs in the Northwest, about four to six inches across the shell. I don’t know what they eat, but they’re nocturnal hunters.

I saw one the other night that really got my attention. While most of them are reddish-brown, this guy had a blue shell. I thought that the only blue crabs lived in the Chesapeake. At any rate, he was one of the larger crabs I’ve seen and very distinctive.

Next up on the list are snakes. So far we’ve see garter snakes slithering away into the bushes, baby boas and an emerald boa.

Cesar called us downstairs one afternoon to see the snake in our driveway sunning himself. He was a baby boa, about a foot or so long, brown with flecks of yellow in its scales. Boas are not poisonous, they use they’re firmly muscled bodies to strangle their prey. As babies, they eat mice and other small animals. When they are fully grown, they can eat a whole goat, but a foot long boa was no danger to us.

A couple of days later, Peanut was barking up a storm in the back yard. We went down to see what the commotion was all about. Peanut had cornered a baby boa about two feet long on the concrete pad where we hang our laundry to dry.

The snake was at least ten feet from the nearest cover. If it turned its back to run, Peanut would be on it in a second. The snake coiled and hissed at the dog. Peanut feigned a bite at the snake and it uncoiled and sprang towards Peanut in a flash. It was a dead standoff. (Should I call it a Panamanian Standoff?) The snake couldn’t escape and the dog couldn’t get it.

Peanut was making such a fuss that I decided to intervene. I grabbed a stick and tossed the snake into the yard where it could escape. Or so I thought.

These dogs are jungle dogs. Peanut’s reactions were so fast I would not have believed it. She was on the snake before it had a chance to coil. She grabbed the snake behind the head and started shaking it. She got a paw on its body and tore at its flesh.

It was over in an instant. Relying on her primitive instincts, Peanut had caught a tasty afternoon snack.

I know there are other species of snakes in the jungle, we just haven’t seen them yet. The local kids play in the jungle all day long, wearing only shorts, so I don’t think there’s much danger here. The poisonous snakes must live on the mainland.

It’s a long swim to the islands.

Picture
Dawn and Little Bit de-stressing
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Penn and Dawn's Panamanian Adventure - Part 7

9/2/2016

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Bird Island
Day Eight, Saturday May 29th 2016

Today was our trip to Bird Island. The real name of the island is Swan Island, but all the gringos call it Bird Island because it is a national bird sanctuary.

Not that protecting any species really makes much difference here. The people who are concerned about the eco-system obey the laws. The natives don’t get it. They still catch and keep endangered species of fish, go out to the island and steal the birds’ eggs and raid the leatherback turtles’ nests.

As they said in Beauty and the Beast, “It’s a story as old as time.”

The natives have been depending on these species to sustain them since before the dawn of time. They know it is against the law, but they merely wait until there are no police around (Which is like ALL the time). There’s no one to stop them, so no risk of penalty.


What they can’t seem to realize is that these species are endangered and every turtle or bird they eat brings them that much closer to extinction. They have no concept of the past or the future. They live only for today.

Wes arranged for Enrique to take us to Bird Island on his boat. Enrique is the guy who used to maintain Wes’s boat before he sold it.

Enrique arrived promptly at 9 am at Playa del Drago (Dragon’s Beach) in his twenty-foot panga with a fifteen horsepower outboard. We took off our sandals and waded out to the boat, climbed aboard and were off.

First we cruised along the beach, taking in sights we couldn’t see from land. Long white beaches, tropical rain forest, pretty girls in bikinis, it’s gets a little boring after a while (but we haven’t been here that long yet).
Picture
Teak does grow on trees in Panama
We motored along Wes and Joyce’s beach. As usual, there wasn’t a soul around for miles.
At the house, we headed north, out to the island. It’s only a couple of miles off shore. What looks like a tiny piece of rock from their house grows into a magnificent little island spit up from the sea floor by some long dormant volcano.

It has sheer cliffs and must be two or three hundred feet high. Being made of volcanic stone, it is well eroded. On the seaward side of the island thousands of little holes are filled with birds’ nests. Each piece of the island is claimed by different species. Boobies live in one area, Frigattas in another. Thousands of birds fill the air or occupy the cliffs.

We made a circumnavigation of the island. On the landward side was a tiny beach. It is illegal for humans to go on the island, but this is where the poachers land. To the seaward side of the island is a large flat rock called, interestingly enough, Flat Rock.

The seas surge over the granite leaving it wet and slippery all the time. Okay, so we saw flat rock. It was no different than thousands of other rocks we’ve seen from the deck of a sailboat, but for some reason, the locals think it’s special.

After our excursion, we headed back to Isla Colon (remember, that’s Columbus Island) to do some snorkeling.

Enrique lives back in the mangrove swamps. He hadn’t brought the boarding ladder, so we had the opportunity to motor back into the swamps via a narrow channel.

I’ve never been in a mangrove swamp before. It was much as I’d imagined. Trees grow up out of the water. We didn’t see any water snakes or monkeys, but the smell was overwhelming. I don’t know how Enrique’s family can live amid the smell of rotting fish and animals, putrid vegetation and all varieties of waste.

Back at Enrigue’s house, there are a couple of docks and half a dozen boats. A flimsy wooden house is perched precariously on stilts up the hill a little. There are no beaches. That was fine with me. The water here is brackish and smells like sewage. I wouldn’t have gone in it to win a prize pig.

A wood fire burned in a pit outside the house. There a woman (probably Enrique’s wife) boiled a cauldron of water. She was doing laundry. She soaked the clothes in the hot soapy water, then pounded them on a flat rock until the water was gone. We didn’t see it, but I’m sure the next step was to hang them on a clothes-line of some sort. A couple of mostly naked boys played near the water’s edge. Life in the jungle.

All in all, it was a depressing little slice of life. I’m glad Enrique has a way to support his family, but I wouldn’t want to live like that.

With the swim step aboard, we headed out to the “coral reefs.” This was the most disappointing part of the day. Enrique anchored the boat in about four feet of water along the edge of the mangrove swamp. We put on our snorkeling gear and went over the side.

I immediately touched bottom, something I didn’t expect on a snorkeling adventure. I cleaned my mask, put it on and headed out in search of the “reef.”

What I found were a few coral heads on a sandy bottom. It was by no stretch of the imagination a reef.

Sure, in and around the coral heads we saw a few fish, a sea cucumber or two lay on the soft sand. Here and there an anemone clung to the young coral.

Wes had told me that Panama was one of the few places in the Caribbean that had growing coral reefs. The rest were drying up and dying.  Well, that was true here. Maybe fifty colonies dotted the sandy bottom. Some were by themselves, some were in close proximity to others. When the tourists discover the islands and they become a tourist Mecca, about a hundred years from now, the coral might be worth snorkeling on. For now, find another reef.

Enough of the complaining. There are good snorkeling reefs here. We will visit them later.

Back in the boat, Enrique took us to Boca del Drago where we waded onto the beach, said our farewells and paid our guide. Wes gave him a twenty dollar bill.

Wes is known on the island as the Bank of Wes. Whenever the natives need a small loan, they come to Wes. He lends them the money, at no interest, and is not very aggressive about getting it back.

Enrique owes Wes sixty dollars. Wes expected to get twenty of it back. Enrique explained that he needed the Jackson to buy food and gasoline. Wes relented and paid up. Next time I need a loan, I’m going to the Bank of Wes.


We climbed into the truck, headed home, had dinner and flopped into bed exhausted.
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After a long day of adventuring
Day Nine, Sunday May 30th 2016

Today nothing happened. Well, almost nothing. I drove into town to get gas for Cesar’s lawnmower. After that we sat around and read while Wes and Joyce packed.

It seems like a good time to talk about the wildlife (and no, I don’t mean at the local hotspots. That is if there WERE local hotspots.). I’m talking about the fauna.

We’ll skip the oceanic wildlife for now, because we haven’t seen enough to comment on yet. That leaves insects, arachnids, birds, reptiles and mammals. As far as I know, there are no amphibians here. (Are turtles reptiles or amphibians?)

I’ve already alluded to insects so let’s start there. Of course there are mosquitoes. They’ve been in the news quite a bit lately. Yes, they have had cases of the Zika Virus here. When people asked us if we weren’t afraid to go to a country where the Zika was running loose, Dawn answered them, “No. But we might come back with shrunken heads.”

Here’s the scientific facts. (Gimme the facts, ma’am, just the facts.) The virus is only a danger to women of childbearing age. It hardly affects the mother, for an adult the symptoms are like a very mild flu, but it devastates the baby. Babies exposed to the virus are born with tiny heads and shrunken brains.

It’s not a problem for us.

Now we come to ants. There are millions of ants in the rainforest. Everything from enormous fire ants to some so small you can hardly see them. We haven’t found any fire ants on the property yet, that doesn’t mean they aren’t here, but the tiny ones have a hell of a bite. From a tiny brown dot so small that you practically need a microscope to find it comes a bite that feels like you’ve been stuck with a hot poker. I was stunned by how painful it was. It burns for hours. I haven’t let any of those ants climb on me since.

Then there are the common garden variety ants. Of course we have them near and in the house, but when we walk through the jungle, we see hundreds of files of army ants carrying leaves back to the colony.

We have cockroaches, who doesn’t? However, in the jungle they’re everywhere. We’re fighting a constant battle to keep them out of the house. In addition to the ones you’re used to, there are giganto-sized roaches. They’re about two inches long. They come out at night, after the lights are out. When we sit and watch TV before going to bed, we see them.

Naturally, Heidi freaked out over them. One morning she and Dawn declared war on the roaches. It appeared that they (The roaches, not Dawn and Heidi.) were coming from under the stove. They took everything out of the drawers on the island and applied a liberal dose of bug spray. Behind the doors, under and behind the stove, behind the propane tank. Nothing was safe.

The giant roaches came pouring out by the dozens. Heidi screamed for me to get rid of them. Dawn just calmly washed all the drawers and everything that had been in them.

These monsters were done for. Some of them made it halfway into the dining room before they rolled over and died. I grabbed a broom, swept them up into a neat pile and swept them off the decks.

One night when I was getting ready for bed, there was a walking stick on top of the light. I didn’t think it was of any danger to us, but I picked it up and threw it out onto the lawn so it didn’t bother Dawn.

On another night I went to turn off my bedside light and was attacked. At first I thought the light was shorting out, it hurt so badly. Then I discovered it was an insect. I haven’t been able to figure out what kind of bug it was, but it was about three inches long with short, translucent wings. It had a stick-like body and what looked like a stinger on the aft end.

Needless to say, the bug declared war on me with its sneak attack. But like the Americans after Pearl Harbor, I finished the battle. I tracked the little bugger down and doused him liberally with bug spray. He flopped around for a couple of minutes, then was no more. I hurt for a couple of hours after that.


Picture
Some of our many banana spiders
Now come the spiders. I know they’re not insects, but I’m going to include them here anyway.

Both Heide and Dawn are afraid of spiders. If they see the tiniest spider, they yell for me to kill it.

I do not kill spiders. Spiders are our friends. They eat mosquitoes, flies and all sorts of other insects that bug us. In my house in Lynnwood, we had a pet spider one fall. He was a big wood spider and spun a web in our bay window. I wouldn’t let Connie get rid of him so we named him George and watched him grow.

Several weeks later we discovered an egg pouch. I guess he was a Georgina.
Anyway, when the lovely ladies discovered a spider, I gently picked it up and tossed it outside. No harm, no foul.

There are some interesting spiders in the rain forest. I’m going to talk about the big man-eating ones. Down by the cisterns, and all over the yard, is a species about six inches across with long, thin bodies and black and yellow stripped legs. They look very fragile. That is, I thought they had long, thin bodies. A couple of days ago, I started seeing ones with swelled up bodies. I suspect that these are females and are getting ready to lay eggs.

One night Dawn called me to get rid of a large hairy monster in the bathroom. It was easily six inches across, but was covered in brown hair and had thick, strong looking legs and a robust body. We call it a jumping spider because it can leap for three or four feet. Dawn is afraid that it will leap on her and bite her. It looked like a tarantula, but it was brown. I do believe that tarantulas are black. I hate to admit it, but I thought it might be poisonous, so I sprayed it and removed its little corpse.

These big boys are now dubbed “alien, gigantic man-eating spiders.”


Other than that, there are dozens of other kinds of spiders, mostly small. I see them all over the place, but we keep the house free of them.


I have one more thing to say about insects, then I will have bored you enough.


We have hordes of no see ums. What do they look like? I don’t know, you can’t see them. But they are wrecking havoc on our legs. Both Dawn and I have numerous red bumps on our legs where they bite. The bites itch for days. I’m told that after a couple of weeks, they don’t bites as much, my bite per square centimeter of leg surface has gone down, but they still bite.


My suggestion? Use lots and lots of deet. This noxious chemical is available in any number of mosquito sprays, Joyce has the house well stocked with Off!


That’s the insect story. I hope I haven’t bored you so much that you quit reading our adventures. I still have lots of wildlife to tell you about, but I think that’s all you can handle for one day.


Just one last word of caution: if insects really bother you, don’t go live in a rainforest.

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    Author

    Pendelton C. Wallace is the best selling author of the Ted Higuera Series and the Catrina Flaherty Mysteries. 

    The Inside Passage, the first in the Ted Higuera series debuted on April 1st,  2014. Hacker for Hire, The Mexican Connection, Bikini Baristas, The Cartel Strikes  Back, and Cyberwarefare are the next books in the series.


    The Catrina Flaherty Mysteries currently consist of four stories, Mirror Image, Murder Strikes Twice, The Chinatown Murders, and the Panama Murders. Expect to see Cat bounce around the Caribbean for a while.

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